In February I started a new job, one which I knew would be a challenge, one which would be in an ever changing organisation and one which I knew was going to change. I don't think I expected it to change as much as it has and as much as it will. The changes have been so much and I've not quite managed to deal with it all. I know I've not managed to deal with it all as I've been the cow from hell to work with, I've not been nice, or fun and people have started to tread carefully around me in case I'm going to bite their head of. I am aware I've been the grumpy cow from hell and knew this meant I needed to take time off so I managed to book last week off work and a few days this week, sadly too much to be done at the end of the week for me to have a whole two weeks off. Its been a difficult 3 weeks waiting for my time off, which was timed nicely to coincide with Wimbledon.
So what was my plan for the time I was off from work? Mainly to chill, to read books downloaded onto my kindle (I got it as a Christmas present and I've not read it much) to sit in the sunshine and to watch Wimbledon. So last week I went and bought new glasses (much needed as my prescription changed when I had my eye test in February but couldn't afford new glasses), got my hair cut (also much needed as it was last cut at the end of March), dyed my hair (again much needed as last done when hair was last cut and my roots showed just how grey may hair really is), went to the shops but didn't buy much, read, watched TV, watched Wimbledon and sat out in the sun. I also have a faint tan (this is due to having a slight watch mark). The other thing I have done is think and hopefully put a plan together.
The reason I am so grumpy at work is that I don't enjoy my job, the role is being moved into directions that none of us ever thought it would go, to the point that it is challenging why I do what I do. For those who don't know I am a youth worker and I manage a youth centre. I love working with young people, but I am unable to do what I want to do with young people, I am unable to develop and create the work that the young people in the area I work want. Instead I have to target young people who meet certain criteria, meaning that the early intervention work we do is missed as we are delivering case work rather than group work. I took the job on knowing it would be difficult, knowing that it was changing. So much has happened in the 5 months since I started this job. My Grandad died, the centre was refurbished, we've had a whole host of people move into the building and using the offices, I've had to change sessions we are delivering, put together new work delivering what I didn't want to be delivering. Enough to make me very grumpy. I went for the job as it pays well and I didn't expect the job to last long. I always thought if I got 2 years out of it that would be good. The main plan was to clear my debts a so I needed to earn less per month than when I last lost my job. Well I have paid off 2 debts but then bought a new car. The new was much needed as my old car was dying on me and wasn't coping with the amount of mileage I was doing. But I've still managed to reduce my monthly outgoings, I just need to reduce them by more so it is only household expenditure that needs to be paid.
Anyhow I can't afford to give my job up, even though I'm not enjoying it, but I need to get the job set up to the point that it is bearable and come up with strategies that stop me from being the grumpy cow from hell at work. But I have a plan. I've been fascinated about the development of online business, social media and the growth in this. I have set up my own website and e-shop which cost me a couple of grand but made me only £100 in the two years I ran it, a bit of a disaster. I know I got my strategy all wrong and I just assumed that people would find my website and buy from it. People did, but not enough. Below was my logo for the website sarahdipity.co.uk. I had a professional company design it and I thought it looked good, but somehow it didn't really engage with people. I do though still own the domain name sarahdipity.co.uk. When I decide what to do with it I will get it redesigned and up and running.
Since then I've been learning. I still have lots of cards and crafts that I have made which are taking up storage space. I've tried selling them at craft fairs, but I've not been too successful but I need to link into craft fairs which are better advertised and attract more people to them. I also want to set up an Etsy shop.
I've downloaded some books onto my Kindle to read up about running a craft business and hot set up a successful Etsy shop. I've got an Etsy account which I've never used, but as I also have a blog called Sarahdipity Craft I want to set up a shop called Sarahdipity Craft.
This is really scary as I've tried it once before and it failed, I don't really have any money to put into this and it could all just fail again. I don't have a good camera for taking photos and I know that photos sell, my laptop is not good, it takes a good 30 minutes or more to load up and is so slow and crashes on a regular basis. I also spend much time at work, when am I going to have time to run shop. lots of ideas to freak me out. But I am going to do this.
Part of me wants to put off opening a shop until I can afford a better laptop, better photography equipment, etc. I did purchase studio stuff 3 years ago so I could take better photos, it was lights, a tent thing, etc. But my camera just isn't good enough to take good enough photos. But I've not got enough money so will need to set this up with what equipment I've got. I can make all the excuses in the world, but what I really need to do is go ahead and do it.
So I've decided that I will open an Etsy shop, a decision I made many years ago, but just haven't got around to doing. I also have made some other decisions. Many years ago I use to write. I was part of a writers group in Manchester and I would share what I had written and they would give me feedback. I was also part of a community of writers online who would share work. I've not properly written in ages, but last year I started an outline of a story, I feel the urge to pick it back up and try to complete it.
I've researched self publishing and thought that it would be worth giving it a go. The scary thing is that I am not convinced that I am a good writer, I have ideas for plot, characters, etc, but I'm not sure if I have the ability to write a good story and to write good prose. All that can happen is to give it a go. I've read one book this week based on someone's blog, it was poetic prose but it was readable. Plus if enough people buy it I may get a small income from it.
I also plan to blog more. I need to improve the flow of traffic onto my blog, make it it more exciting so people want to read it, blog and post more often and come up with a plan of what to blog rather than just what is in my head at the time I blog, then I should have a blog that people want to read and visit.
On top of trying to earn money from my online ventures of blogging, Etsy and writing a book, I want to try and work more with young people in a freelance way doing what I want to do with young people. Rather than doing what I am told to do with young people. I couldn't not work with young people but I need variety in my life the flexibility of doing what I want to do. So hopefully over the next 18 months I can put this plan into action and see a positive change in my life.
Well having not been on and blogging for ages I've now written loads. If I write more often I won't hopefully write such long winded blog posts/
